My Grandma

I think that the hardest thing to do in this life is to say "goodbye" to someone you love.

Today, after 91 beautiful years on the planet, my Grandmother passed away peacefully at my mom's house in Riverside. Unexpected, unwanted by those of us left behind, but altogether understandable and fitting for such a strong, sweet, beautiful woman who in my life I had never seen angry or sad, jealous or hurtful, but just always smiling, super-friendly, and always loving to whomever she may meet.

It was just a few days ago when I walked her over to my mom's car before they left to go home. What's sad about this life is that we never know when the "last" time will be for anything. At least in those few moments when she held my hand as I walked her to the car, we both knew how much we loved each other without ever having said it. And in her sweet, loving way, just as I closed the door, she said "Be good", something she always said to all of us before she left. And as I write this now, her caring voice lingers in my mind with those same words, "Be Good". If you think of it, it encompasses everything we should be, or do in this life, whether it be towards others, or for something you are working towards. "Be good" at whatever you do, life or otherwise. Such a simple phrase, from an enormous woman of 4'0.

I always believed or thought that my Grandmother would be around forever, as all grandchildren do. I was just telling her last week how easy it would be for her to reach 100 due to her vibrancy and strength. I'm pretty sure she could have. Yet it was her time to go, her time to meet up with my Grandfather again after so many years, to once again hold hands and take care of each other in a place where they won't feel pain, or have any more worry. As with all family members who pass away before us, I'm certain they don't want us to grieve for them, but to always remember them lovingly and fondly. It's always so difficult because we get so used to having them around us throughout our entire lives; selfish because we don't want them to ever leave. Yet in the end, it's not us who decides when.

I will always love and miss my grandmother. For all the wonderful things she shared with me in this life, for all the smiles, and warm embraces, the loving gestures and especially for helping me be who I am today. It's never easy saying goodbye to a loved one, whether young or old, expected or not. I have been blessed to have her as my grandmother in this life, and I know that someday, I will see her again, smiling and asking me if I was "good". I'm certain I'll tell her "yes" and thank her for instilling that in me.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and prayers. As they say, she's in a better place, and that the living should grieve for the living not the dead. I grieve for myself and my family, yet am so very thankful that I had this wonderful lady my entire life.